Perspective

Someone recently asked me ‘in three words describe what you thought fatherhood would be like and now three words describe what it’s like now you’re actually a father’

One of the words I used now that I’m a father is ‘perspective’

Perspective might not be the first word that springs to mind when describing being a father. Perhaps exciting, fun, tiring or fulfilling might be more positive adjectives to describe being a father.

As previously mentioned in my first blog post I commute into London from Buckinghamshire and this often throws me into the mad commuting whirlwind of rushing and barging to be first on the train (don’t you just hate those people?!) and running like a dog on heat to make the tube before the doors slam against the poor buggers head which is always made more satisfying when they then realise their bag is caught in the door and they frantically try to drag it onto the carriage.

Anyway I’m being sidetracked by my detest of people in a rush. But that is it isn’t it? We’re all ready for the next thing, the next experience, how quick can we get from A to B because God forbid we’d take into account what’s in front of us.

Having a child slows everything down. Getting through the front door with glorious day plans ahead of you and you think you’ve nailed the timings so far and Darcey’s outfit is looking on point and then a you know what happens at the precise moment you place that first food out of the door.

So there you are, delayed by 15 minutes as you clean, change, redress into the second choice outfit and you’re back underway. But funnily enough in those slightly less flattering moments as a parent you see those two little deep eyes staring up at you, locked onto you and suddenly life pausing seems ok when something you beautifully made lovingly looks back at you.

What am I chasing after anyway? More importantly the question is who am I chasing after it for?

Since having Darcey my mind has slowed down but not in a way to my detriment, I’m still doing my job the same as before and I haven’t literally physically slowed down to walk like a snail (well slightly when the 5.30am alarm goes off).

However I’m pausing to look around me and to take in what in my opinion God has gifted to me. A wife who is selfless to ensure her husband and baby feel loved. By slowing down and pausing has allowed me to really grasp how quickly this incredible creation is developing from the smile and interaction to how clever and intelligent she already is as she navigates this mad world around her.

An interview between a reporter and a Lithuanian basketball coach blew up on the internet in the last week as the reporter questioned the decision of one of the players to go home from a competition to see the birth of his first child.

The way the coach responded encapsulates some of the points I’m trying to make.

What are we placing between us and what really matters? Work? Bad habits? The wrong people?

So let me throw down a challenge to you today.

What does your life look like? Is 2019 going to be the year that you are going after that salary raise? Job promotion? Out to prove the haters wrong?

What if 2019 was the year you bought some perspective to your life. Just stopped a few more times in your day to appreciate how well you are in fact doing in this rat race of a world whilst having an additional life/lives under your roof to help nurture.

Parents, give yourself a break. You are doing the hardest yet most rewarding job this world can offer which in comparison to anything else the world can offer us will stand the test of time of providing you with fulfilment as you bring new life and raise it into something that will hopefully make this world a better place.

Have a wonderful week.

Big love,

Matthew